A Fresh Take on Assertiveness Training

By Naoki Yoshinaga, PhD, and Scott Cooper

November 2026

In the 1950s, the prominent behavioral psychologist Joseph Wolpe developed systematic desensitization and relaxation as a primary means of anxiety reduction, but he also developed techniques of “assertion training” with the same objective. He was looking for intentional behaviors that could inhibit anxiety. His techniques of self-assertiveness focused on helping people to honestly and directly express themselves in difficult social situations, rather than giving into the instinctive responses of fight or flight (typical forms of anxiety).

From these beginnings, behavioral health professionals have refined and expanded on these techniques of assertiveness to help people navigate stressful social situations, foster self-determination and reduce anxiety. Assertiveness training gained prominence in the 1970s and ’80s and has been widely adopted for use in both clinical and academic settings. Numerous studies suggest such training can help to reduce anxiety and enhance self-confidence.

As helpful as such assertiveness training has been, recent literature underscores the need for a broader framework for assertiveness. While traditional assertiveness training has proven valuable in helping people develop more effective interpersonal communication skills, it deals with only one aspect of well-being. A broader model of assertiveness training that draws skills from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and related disciplines could help people live more intentionally in all areas of their lives. This multidimensional model integrates traditional social assertiveness with three additional dimensions: behavioral, emotional and mental assertiveness.

A Multidimensional Model of Assertiveness

Assertiveness isn’t just about speaking up. It means taking greater charge of one’s life through intentional activity across four dimensions of everyday living. Drawing on empirical findings from CBT, positive psychology, acceptance-based interventions and happiness studies, the model includes four strategies:

• Speaking up (social assertiveness) means asserting ourselves by communicating directly, honestly and respectfully, without manipulation or rudeness, and with reasonable persistence. You don’t have to change your personality or be more aggressive to speak up. Functional assertiveness calls for approaches to communication that are direct and honest but also consistent with specific situations, cultures and personalities.
• Jumping in (behavioral assertiveness) involves asserting ourselves by initiating needed intentional activities, even when we don’t feel like it. Jumping into needful, meaningful and enjoyable activities (“behavioral activation”) fosters greater life satisfaction, which is an essential element of psychological well-being.
• Embracing compassion (emotional assertiveness) is assertively responding to the emotional challenge of suffering — whether our own or others’ — with helpful words or actions. By intentionally choosing kindness, sympathy and support, we can improve relationships while also strengthening our resilience. You don’t need to like others to have compassion for them. Compassion is not wanting people to suffer, whether you like them or not.
• Accepting life (mental assertiveness) means reducing unnecessary negative judgments. It’s the skill of gaining perspective, challenging self-judgment and accepting life as it is, without denial. In particular, it’s reducing negative judgments over situations outside our choice and control, which can reduce stress and anxiety.

How Counselors Can Use This Model

Taking greater charge of one’s life through intentional activity can lead to additional conversations and strategies that can reduce anxiety and foster well-being. A holistic, multidimensional perspective on assertiveness can help clients intentionally assert themselves socially, behaviorally, emotionally and mentally as the circumstances may require.

If your counseling efforts are primarily dedicated to skills training, this model can help organize your thinking and preparation. Each of the four strategies can be taught with reference to your most highly regarded theoretical frameworks and tools. While this model is not a diagnostic tool, if your efforts are diagnostic in nature, this model may provide ideas for implementation within the larger framework of assertiveness and resilient living.

Here are some ways to use this model in professional counseling:

• If you already provide assertiveness training, consider this model as an opportunity to include strategies for additional client well-being. Formal assertiveness training provides a unique “teaching moment” with the potential for teaching additional behaviors for self-determination and resiliency. Add each dimension as an additional training module, or add a single multidimensional module focused on additional strategies for full assertive living.
• If you counsel young people, consider this as a step-by-step model of building blocks for teaching resiliency. Establish a foundation with the first two concrete “external” strategies of self-expression (speaking up) and behavioral activation (jumping in). Then move on to the next two “internal” strategies of compassion and acceptance.
• If you are particularly committed to “third-wave” methodologies of psychology (such as acceptance and commitment therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, or mindfulness), use this convenient holistic model to integrate behavioral psychology, traditional CBT, compassion and acceptance directly into your counseling.

Traditional assertiveness training has been very beneficial to many people, and we heartily endorse such programs. For those interested in more, the four assertiveness skill sets of this multidimensional model can provide additional benefit to clients. Personal well-being isn’t just about communication; it’s also about actions, emotions and mindset. These strategies of full assertive living can expand the possibilities for greater well-being.