Don't Take The Fun Out Of Sports For Your Kids

Warmer weather is approaching and with it increased opportunities for organized outdoor sports activities. For most kids it's a chance to be active, have a good time with friends, enjoy competition and, hopefully, to have fun.

Unfortunately, some parents don't handle those sports opportunities as well as their kids. Most of us have seen news stories, or maybe even witnessed, unseemly parental behaviors at kids' sporting events, ranging from verbal abuse of referees and coaches to physical altercations between parents.

Such behavior comes when parents make their child's sporting activities so important that their emotions override their judgment and common sense. Hopefully, your reactions at your children's sporting events doesn't run to violence, but there are other indicators that help indicate if sports are playing too important a role in a family.

One such indicator is evaluating how much of the family's life revolves around children's sports. Have your children not only been "pushed" into playing sports but also to train extra hard and to excel at the chosen sport? While the child may not want to disappoint the parent and tries to meet expectations, doing so is often at a price for the child. He or she may be practicing hard, but is it at the expense of school work and other activities?

When kids try their best but end up falling short of a parent's expectations, any resulting negative or critical reaction from the parent can lower the child's self-confidence and self-esteem and can ensure that playing the sport really isn't fun.

While parents want their children to do well, it crosses a line when you find that you experience mood swings related to your child's success or failures in sports. If you reward your child when he or she has done well but criticize or tease that same child when his or her performance hasn't met your expectations, it's a sign that there may be a problem. It's also a problem when a family's schedule revolves totally around a child's sports activities, especially if it shortchanges other family members.

If you find yourself too emotionally involved in your child's sports successes and failures, and unable to change, consider talking with a professional counselor specializing in family counseling. Getting a healthy emotional balance between sports and your parenting will benefit you and your child and let your child truly enjoy his or her healthy sporting activities.