ACA Blog

Examining the factors contributing to affairs among expats is more of an art than a science. I’m not aware of any current statistics on the incidence of infidelity among couples abroad, most likely because trying to conduct research on expats is a bit like herding cats: it would be almost impossible to get any kind of representative sample. But I can say that in my clinical experience as an expat counselor, infidelity is by far the most common presenting issue among the couples that I work with. It seems to be an unfortunately common part of the life in the international community here.

The news has been filled with stories this week of equality and human rights regarding the right to choose whom to marry. There have been many personal stories shared on the nightly news of disenfranchisement, discrimination and unfairness by those brave enough willing to risk their privacy and their financial security to advocate for their rights. It has been empowering to witness.

Coming off the heels of attending the 2013 American Counseling Association (ACA) conference, I have been reflecting on my experience there, as well as other conferences I have attended in the previous months. What stands out in my mind is the importance of relationships and networking. Now, we can have relationships that are personal or professional, or some hybrid of the two. In any regard, it is important to cultivate such connections, as demonstrated by the following:

The BBC reports this morning that 20-year-old Jordan Sheard has been sentenced to three and a half years in jail for the death of Steven Simpson after pleading guilty to manslaughter charges. Simpson, 18, died one day after sustaining "significant burns" in June 2012, according to the report. The dead boy – who had epilepsy and Asperger’s - had been humiliated at a party, endured anti-gay rants, was set on fire and killed.

It’s March Madness time! For most, this means college basketball and tournament bracket pools. For some, it marks the end of the Canadian government’s fiscal year. For a select few, it refers to the breeding season for the European Hare. (Can you tell that someone has been on Wikipedia?).

Henry David had his experience at Walden Pond which left an indelible mark on his life and on the field of literature since he published “on Walden Pond” all those years ago. Though I never finished the book because it was too dry for me at the time, I loved the message, the image that his adventure left on me. It meant so much in fact that I have visited Walden Pond many times over the years.

I know of no more difficult occupational challenge than that facing a counselor as he or she moves from their formal education into doing counseling. A physician can learn from other physicians how to set the broken leg so that the body’s systems will mend it. Then that physician can use that skill in his or her practice.

First sessions with new clients can be unnerving: it’s often impossible to know in advance exactly how distressed the client will be, how urgent their circumstances are, how much they might be expecting the counselor to guide and direct them.

Midnight phone calls, Sunday night worries, frustrating emails. Every job has its varied challenges in setting boundaries between work and home. Perhaps due to their emotional nature, the helping professions seem to be particularly full of pitfalls in this area. Interestingly enough, a lot of what we might work on with clients in terms of work-life balance is not too different from what we all might also deal with as counselors.

I can honestly say that I did not perceive myself to be a future leader when I began to pursue a career as a professional school counselor (PSC). Nor would I have identified myself as such growing up.