ACA Blog

It is funny how our clients all know that life is not fair, but still they expect it to be! It is one thing to know intellectually that life is not fair, but another thing to give up the sense of entitlement and expectations that it should in our day to day lives. Sometimes it seems so hard to help them change their ingrained habits of thinking!

My work with the free clinic has both challenged and inspired me in a number of ways, not just professionally, but personally as well. I could probably write a short novel about my experiences so far and what I have learned, but I want to discuss one that seems to permeate through all my interactions with clients.

The year before last my husband and I began a gutsy tradition – gutsy if you were brought up in the Roman Catholic faith that is, as we both were – we decided to forgo celebrating Easter. Yes, out of the clear, blue sky we pulled a three-sixty and began welcoming that celebrated spring holiday just as any other day.

I am happy to say I have just had the privilege of completing a time in Ireland as a Fulbright Scholar. (This is somewhat to explain my absence as a frequent blogger but really it is no excuse!) I will try to share some insights as I integrate them, as my experience here gave me a very interesting new perspective on the helping professions and counseling in particular. More on that in a future blog. The Fulbright Program is the flagship international educational exchange program sponsored by the U.S. government and is designed to increase mutual understanding between the people of the United States and the people of other countries. The primary source of funding for the Fulbright Program is an annual appropriation made by the U.S. Congress to the U.S. Department of State, Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs. Participating governments and host institutions, corporations and foundations in foreign countries and in the United States also provide direct and indirect support.

Many a graduate student and frustrated agency clinician have approached me to find out how they too can open a small not for profit counseling agency. They typically have an idealistic view of how it will be and what it will look like. I myself pictured a small office, humble beginnings, not a lot of work but time to keep up on my art and reading while continuing to pay the bills and write professionally. I was right about the humble beginnings to be sure but forget the time for art, reading and leisure; you start a practice especially one like I did with only a few thousand dollars from a personal loan, no sponsors, no backers or major donors and you can be sure to learn the meaning of work. In response to requests, here is a small snapshot of my work week; your results may vary.

I spend a lot of time thinking. I can’t help it really. Just this year I was diagnosed with Adult ADD when I was seeing a Psychologist for something else entirely. I never knew I had this but it explains a lot. This cognitive hyperactivity I call — The Committee. The committee is always in session, even when I’m trying to sleep. They argue, raise points of order, and are always adding new items to the agenda. Because my mind works this way, I’m distracted by some thoughts and hyper-focused on others. The committee has been a liability at many times in my life, but at others a blessing. Now that I am aware of this, I try to harness it to my advantage as often as I can.

When she walked in she was timid, tearful. Beverly (not her real name) sat down, fumbled with her purse and spoke, her voice quivering with sadness. She began by explaining why she had decided to see me. “You see, I’m sixty-two and I’ve never seen a therapist. I don’t know how this works. I’ve been married for 20 years, and, well, I found out yesterday that my husband is having an emotional affair.”

When I started blogging for the ACA I was working in a hospital providing assessments for children, adolescents, and adults suffering with an array of symptoms and disorders. My primary objective was to provide a level of care assessment based on symptoms, presenting issues, and information that the family provided. Based on this assessment, I’d give a referral for treatment. There was a lot of paperwork. Petitions. Pages of notes. Calling the on-call psychiatrist. Calling other hospitals for beds. Talking with the ER doctor. Talking with the ER nursing staff. No counseling.

I wanted to share an experience with you and thoughts I have about it. About a half hour ago I got a call from my aunt that a very dear cousin of mine was found dead in her home. I was very close to this cousin and talked to her almost daily on the computer. I am sitting here at work with red soaked eyes. It took me off guard, I wasn’t ready for any news like that. I have a client coming in at 12, that’s an hour from now.

Whatever our theoretical leanings as counselors acting as our authentic-selves and being in the present with our clients is essential. This is taught in school, experienced in internship, and is reinforced in supervision. It is expected in agency work as well as private practice. This state of being for helping professionals is ethical and appropriate. No matter where we are in our training or careers, counselors aspire to this – be there with the client.