ACA Blog

I wanted to share an experience with you and thoughts I have about it. About a half hour ago I got a call from my aunt that a very dear cousin of mine was found dead in her home. I was very close to this cousin and talked to her almost daily on the computer. I am sitting here at work with red soaked eyes. It took me off guard, I wasn’t ready for any news like that. I have a client coming in at 12, that’s an hour from now.

Whatever our theoretical leanings as counselors acting as our authentic-selves and being in the present with our clients is essential. This is taught in school, experienced in internship, and is reinforced in supervision. It is expected in agency work as well as private practice. This state of being for helping professionals is ethical and appropriate. No matter where we are in our training or careers, counselors aspire to this – be there with the client.

…Before the end of termination. Last week I described my experience with couple’s termination. This week I wanted to share another facet of one particular termination that was without a doubt a more difficult end than I would have anticipated. It is an interesting quandary that no one seems to have an answer for. How do you terminate with your co-therapist?

I have had the privilege of having a blog posted on the ACA blog site for about a year now. This opportunity has motivated me to clarify and articulate many ideas that have been bouncing around in my brain for a long time. I hope they have helped others who have read them. Now, however, every time I get a brilliant new idea or insight into some aspect of counseling, I realize I had that same brilliant idea several months ago and have already written about it. So I’m thinking it is time to summarize those ideas that seem most important as a way of finishing.

You may have noticed that I have not posted for a few weeks. I like many of you enjoyed a nice week off for the Thanksgiving holiday. It was a time to enjoy family, reflect on the great things that life has brought forth and for me to also reflect on my life, its direction, priorities and direction. As many of you know, I have been dealing with many nagging health issues. These issues have impacted my life to a great degree and at one time I thought they may have been working to end my life totally; thankfully that was not the case. I have seen more MD’s, specialists, APRN’s and related folks in the past six months than I can to count; thankfully though I do not have a great health plan, I am not among the millions without any health care. Still the bills pile up while I carry on.

The following is a handwritten note placed on the Smith’s front door by their Trip Planning Facilitator (TPF), Mel: Jim and Fran, I hope you guys have had a great first week at the V&B and wish you both the best during your second week here. I know that this past week was difficult at times for the both of you, but I have the privilege of seeing you all every day, and I know that God has great plans for you guys. As your second week begins, I encourage you both to regularly participate in a group alone and a group together. Kamiah tells me that you are probably going to join Izzie’s Cooking group, and I think that’s a great idea. The two of you will enjoy getting to know her. I’m not sure if you are aware, but some groups have post activity follow up sessions that you will greatly benefit from. I encourage you to participate if you have the time and energy. Sincerely, Mel

My mother passed away on a warm evening late last May. She left this earth in the manner of her choice; at home, surrounded by her loving family. My beautiful mom – my father’s wife of sixty-two years and my daughter’s grandma - was gone.

The termination stage of therapy is something that I equally dread and relish. I have learned in practicum and in life that endings can mean almost as much as the preceding work and effort. And who enjoys saying goodbye anyway?

I was clearly uncomfortable and clearly trying to hide it. As a newly certified life coach working with a married couple in crisis I sat with them in my office resisting the urge to wring my hands. I periodically nodded with empathy, peppering my interaction with encouragers. Was the temperature in the room rising? Or was it just me?

Standing with some colleagues in a crowded restaurant one night, a group of shirt & ties inquired our occupation. 'We're Rehab Counselors,' we shouted over the cheers of the Phillies’s game. Confused, they glanced at each other, 'But...you're drinking!?' as we responded, "Umm, yeah, and...?" Did we put down our Miller Lites and make a dash for it? Nope. We explained what it was that made us unique and awesome - that 'rehab' in our title didn't necessarily mean we worked with (or were) alcoholics.