ACA Blog

Every Summer I visit my country of origin, Peru. I always have a wonderful time hanging out with my family and friends, tasting one of the most wonderful cuisines in the world, and seeing breathtaking landscapes all around the country. Despite of all its richness, I can’t help to ponder on its extreme poverty and this visit is not the exception.

Tuesday was the last day of my practicum. I couldn’t believe it was over! Time had flown by and I had spent 400 hours between counseling clients, researching, reading, and discussing cases. Right after I left my site, I met with my individual supervisor at my school to discuss my experience. One of the questions she invited me to reflect on was the high and lows of my practicum. After mentioning a few highs and lows she asked me, “What about the woman who said you were too young to be her counselor?” I had completely suppressed that incident from my memory.

I visited a hospital twice this week: first to see the newborn son of my handyman and then to sing to my ninety year-old, dear friend as he drew his last breaths. Odd as it may seem to the reader, both were joyous events. The first because I glimpsed the future in the face of that baby boy as his teary mother cradled him close. The second because I reflected on all of the lives touched and forever changed by my friend of 35 years.

Cutting is not a new thing though I suppose the term is on the new side. Years ago you were not necessarily called a cutter; you may have been called depressed, abnormal, suicidal (though there is a difference between suicidal attempts via cutting and cutting. One utilizes a blade in an attempt to end one’s life while the other utilizes a blade not to end a life but as an attempt to at least temporarily alter a feeling, perhaps to show that they have control over something, perhaps as an attempt to feel anything after becoming numb from abuse, perhaps they are obsessed with the desire to cut or alter their appearance or to show that they are in distress, among others).

Watching the TV series “The Fosters” on Monday night, I heard the three words that all illegal immigrants fear - “You are undocumented” BAM! It hit me like a bucket of cold ice water. A teenager about 16 years old was told by her boyfriend and her best friend that her family was undocumented. I put myself in her shoes and felt my world crashing with those three words. Like many teenagers, she had grown up all her life thinking that she could too have all American rights. Suddenly, she was faced with the truth.

Sandy* is a lifetime member of the local rod and gun club. She comes from a long line of lifetime members and described herself as being born with a silver shotgun instead of the typical silver spoon. She is very pragmatic, means what she says and says what she means type of gal. She has no time for fancy things, unless it is a new Ford pickup. When you first meet her you see a well built, rugged middle aged woman who obviously works outside for a living; her skin can be described as leather like and wind worn. She holds herself much like a cowboy and most folks who like that sort of style would likely describe her as attractive.

I just returned home from a conference, where I was supporting my “other half” with his emerging research presentation. The Association of Leadership Educators annual conference was held in exciting New Orleans, following the 4th of July holiday. Not only do I enjoy the networking and various social events that occur at conferences, but I also enjoy the learning that occurs once you leave a multi-day experience and begin to process what you have seen and heard. In reflecting upon this experience, what stands out most in my mind was a keynote presentation by Ted Thomas. He has spent much of his career working for the military. Currently, he is in charge of developing and supervising leadership curriculum to nearly 1,300 civilian and active-duty students.

For years, I have wanted to create a Free Counselor Directory. Basically, a simple “Psychology Today” style product that counselors could use to promote their practices online, but without the $30 a month price tag…or any price tag!

As counselors, we likely feel our ‘real’ work is done in the office but I don’t buy that. We are the sum of our parts and most of them do NOT happen in the office. They occur in traffic, at the market, at home or out with friends. We can ‘turn off’ our work—but not our ‘self.’ That rascal follows us everywhere. This is what I mean:

I type this after being bombarded with headlines about Patriots player Aaron Hernandez being arrested for murder and other charges. Before I go any further, in the interest of honesty and ethics, I feel that I should tell you that he was once a neighborhood kid who played in my yard and who paled around with my Kiddo, played videogames and ate his share of pasta. I knew him, I know his mumma and she is a wonderful person and parent as well as a colleague who adores her children. I will not pretend that we are close; it has been years since I have seen him and I am sure neither of us gave it a second thought.