Natosha Monroe

I consider myself to be an altruistic and caring person. I do not feel I am “better” than people based on socioeconomics, education, culture, or anything else. In my therapeutic interactions I truly listen to people and I don’t pretend to think I know it all. In my PhD program, we are constantly challenged to self-reflect which has allowed me to recognize personal growth and maturity that has taken place over the years. Overall, I feel I’m in a pretty good place. But guess what? Since I’ve returned from Afghanistan, I can’t help myself. Yes, I have caught myself having some condescending thoughts toward others about something.

Ah, Valentine’s Day. What does February 14th mean to you this year? A day of romance and passion with a person you love? A day of ignoring the fact that you don’t have a date? A day of pining away over someone who apparently doesn’t love you back? A day of spending time with someone new and special? A day of being annoyed at the commercialization of love? A day of hoping to meet another’s expectations? A day ended with a content sigh of relief as you rest your head beside your soul mate? Or is it just a day that falls between Sunday and Tuesday?

Since I’ve returned from Afghanistan, I’ve been asked numerous times to comment on reports of large quantities of medications being dispensed to Troops both overseas and back home: medications related to psychological matters. And so I am going to give my honest opinion among people I feel will understand where I’m coming from. Based solely on my personal observations and experiences shared to me by fellow Veterans, our Troops are being “treated” with too many pills and not enough actual therapy. And their “treatment” is often unacceptable. There. I said it. And you’ve surely noticed it too—unless you are among the throngs of “professionals” who are simply tossing pills and calling it a therapeutic session. Ok. So what do we do about this?

In graduate school I learned that happy, fulfilling relationships exist when people prioritize and care about the happiness of others more than their own. Particularly in romantic relationships, this must be evident in both people in the relationship, not just one of them. This makes sense when I reflect upon my recent deployment to Afghanistan, conversations with returning Veterans, and previous therapeutic interactions because I can’t help but notice relationship issues revolving around the theme of egocentrism. So I have to ask: Are the most recent generations doomed to strained, unfulfilling relationships due to the increasingly popular egocentric mindset?

What could motivate someone to jump at the chance to join a group of strangers for the duration of their favorite holiday? To show up in the wee hours of the morning in a jam-packed, standing-room-only terminal for a 5-hour wait for a flight? To stay awake night and day for 3 days? To travel over four countries on three continents?