Deb Del Vecchio-Scully

“Let’s get over it and move on” is a comment left on an article in memoriam to those who lost their lives at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in today’s newspaper. If only it was that simple, if only there could be a magic wand that would miraculously take away the pain and traumatic grief for those spending Mother’s Day without their children today.

The news has been filled with stories this week of equality and human rights regarding the right to choose whom to marry. There have been many personal stories shared on the nightly news of disenfranchisement, discrimination and unfairness by those brave enough willing to risk their privacy and their financial security to advocate for their rights. It has been empowering to witness.

I have been intentionally quiet on this blog in the weeks since the Sandy Hook shooting, unable to have clarity about my thoughts, beliefs and feelings, overwhelmed by sadness; I struggle to integrate and make sense of such horrible violence and loss of innocence. I live and work not far from Sandy Hook and it has felt as though it happened in my own back yard. It is an unusual time for counselors in Connecticut as we both experience the grief of this tragedy while bearing witness to the pain of our clients; it is a shared journey of recovery.

In my previous blog, I introduced the work of Toltec nagual, Don Miguel Ruiz and his book, The Four Agreements. These agreements: Be Impeccable with your word, Don't take anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, and Always do your Best are the four pillars of his wisdom and of a mindful life. They appear to be simple yet can be challenging to live by in daily life.

The month of November can be a bittersweet time for me. It conjures painful memories of grief and loss; this year was particularly melancholy. Being a northeast resident, we faced back-to-back weather challenges with Hurricane Sandy and then a Nor’easter which dumped nearly ten inches of snow. My office was closed for an entire week due to power outages which oddly didn’t feel like a break from work. Rather, it felt like I was persistently on call waiting to be ordered back to the office. This was my entrance into November this year and I’ve felt off center since.