Deb Del Vecchio-Scully

I have been intentionally quiet on this blog in the weeks since the Sandy Hook shooting, unable to have clarity about my thoughts, beliefs and feelings, overwhelmed by sadness; I struggle to integrate and make sense of such horrible violence and loss of innocence. I live and work not far from Sandy Hook and it has felt as though it happened in my own back yard. It is an unusual time for counselors in Connecticut as we both experience the grief of this tragedy while bearing witness to the pain of our clients; it is a shared journey of recovery.

In my previous blog, I introduced the work of Toltec nagual, Don Miguel Ruiz and his book, The Four Agreements. These agreements: Be Impeccable with your word, Don't take anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, and Always do your Best are the four pillars of his wisdom and of a mindful life. They appear to be simple yet can be challenging to live by in daily life.

The month of November can be a bittersweet time for me. It conjures painful memories of grief and loss; this year was particularly melancholy. Being a northeast resident, we faced back-to-back weather challenges with Hurricane Sandy and then a Nor’easter which dumped nearly ten inches of snow. My office was closed for an entire week due to power outages which oddly didn’t feel like a break from work. Rather, it felt like I was persistently on call waiting to be ordered back to the office. This was my entrance into November this year and I’ve felt off center since.

I have spent my entire career counseling people struggling with medical issues including cancer, cardiac disease, neurological disorders and chronic pain. Thus, I am very familiar with the challenges of life-threatening and chronic illness on the mind, the body and the spirit. I was quite inspired this week by Good Morning America's Robin Roberts, whom on the eve of undergoing a Bone Marrow Transplant uttered these words:

In recent days I have found myself reflecting on the upcoming 11th Anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks and the difference a year makes. On this date last year – September 10, 2011 – I was in Manhattan volunteering at a survivor’s information forum sponsored by the VOICES of September 11th, an association founded by a mom after her son was among those killed at the World Trade Center. I had met this mom, Mary Fetchet just weeks before when she delivered a keynote address at “Counselors Remembering 9-11: A Shared Journey”, a workshop I helped to organize through the Connecticut Counseling Association. Mary has a powerful presence and during her presentation, everyone in the audience was mesmerized by her and by the resilience she displayed in choosing to form the VOICES of September 11th, making it her life’s work.