I think the need for love and success are universal but our experiences distinguish how we achieve them. Experiences are like hands that mold clay. They shape who we become. All of us are being molded right now by our experiences. Many people tend to categorize these experiences as mistakes, traumatic, a waste of time, or generally good and bad. We all have experiences and regardless of the context I think we tend to categorize them incorrectly. In my worldview, experiences are none of the above, instead, they are opportunities to learn and grow!
This learning process is not only about how we understand the world but also how we understand ourselves. Being wise is no longer exclusive to the elderly who have seen more and lived longer, rather, wisdom extends to the people who have been through a gamut of learning moments and have taken the time to process how their learning moments work for all the people involved with their experience. Thematically, some experiences have the propensity to shock human nature into a socially intelligible growth spurt which in some cases insinuates the idiom “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Be it undesirable relationships, performance, or business deals, the shock of these experiences may not feel good, however, it is for your good as you move forward to encounter new experiences in life. If interpreted correctly, you will mature with a new wisdom that will be beneficial to your future experiences!
Besides sunlight and water, we need experiences to help us grow. How do you think most of the innovative inventions are created? Someone thought of a way to make living easier based on an experience! In a sense we are all scientist testing our hypotheses through experiences of what does and what does not work. So guess what, trial and error is going to happen especially in new experiences. Often times we will fail before we get it right but what determines our success is the willingness to hang in there for the second or perhaps third and fourth results. There is no benefit to crippling ourselves with guilt or anxiety. Perceived failures stimulate the ingenuity that creates the insightful breakthrough which helps us tweak the previous approach. Embrace your experiences, process, and See it Through!
Kareem Puranda is a counselor-in-training at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He is an advocate for the disadvantaged population and can be reached at email@example.com