This past week we discharged a couple of clients at the residential drug treatment center where I am completing my internship. It’s not like this is a new thing for me. We’ve probably discharged at least 15 clients since I began internship in January. Some leave because it’s time – legal requirements have been met, their insurance has stopped covering their services, or they have used on property/relapsed. We always have a staff meeting to discuss these discharges and determine the client’s investment in services at the center. Our theoretical approach incorporates relapse as a part of recovery, so not every client is discharged when they relapse. This creates a whole other issue, but one I will save for another time and a longer blog post.

What was significant about this discharge was that the client who left us was one I had really thought had a chance of recovery. He was younger, it was his first time in treatment, and he had really applied himself in the program. He was candid in groups, he sought extra counseling, and he was very insightful. It seemed like he might “get it,” the first time around.

What’s tougher was that this client didn’t relapse. He was caught doing things that were compromising other clients’ sobriety. It wasn’t something we could have in our therapeutic community and it was determined that this client had to leave our center.

I wasn’t present for this client’s discharge, but I could see the impending exit based on the reports of this client’s behavior. I feel I have prepared myself for these occurrences. I know any client can leave our property at any moment for a variety of reasons. I have the knowledge that addiction is unpredictable and that relapse is a part of recovery. Addicts are not known for their consistency or reliability. I was prepared for all these outcomes.

I was also aware that I had seen the potential in this client. I hadn’t invested hope, but I had seen what could be. When this client left, I felt a sense of loss. A small moment of quiet reflection on the client’s progress in treatment flashed through my head as I realized that this client was no longer going to be receiving treatment. I took my moment and processed what I felt. I realized that this client’s exit wasn’t necessarily the end of the road. Leaving treatment doesn’t mean all hope is lost. It simply means it’s another opportunity for the client to learn how to cope with life’s circumstances.

I recognized that while I felt this loss of “what could have been,” I also learned the client is in control of his outcome in treatment. As a counselor, I can only be a guide into sobriety and a different view of life. I am not responsible for following the path. As long as I have been a reliable guide, the choice to follow the path to sobriety is the responsibility of the client. Ultimately, the client still chooses their outcome and that is the lesson I have been fortunate enough to be reminded of this week.

Jennifer Bingaman is a counselor-in-training and freelance writer. She blogs about her experiences as a client and a counselor with a few life musings thrown into the mix at The Pursuit of Sassiness