I don’t feel like I was properly warned about what goes on inside an intern’s head in the beginning of internship. I have had to check my self-talk every day I’m working. I find myself questioning what I know about being a counselor. In the back of my mind, I know I know my stuff. I’ve read the books, I’ve done (and I keep doing) the internal and external work, and I’m passionate about what I do.

One piece I wasn’t prepared for when I started working at a drug treatment facility was the element of what addictions work dubs “lip service”. As I learned, lip service is what the client says to everyone when they are in the throes of their addiction. It’s not quite a lie and it’s not quite the truth. The addict believes their lies. They want them to become true. So when they say something along the lines of, “This is the last time I drink,” they truly believe it will be the last time they drink.

Knowing this in theory and listening to a client give you lip service is completely different. When I say I’ve struggled with self-doubt, it is here. I can’t tell if the client truly believes what they are telling me or if they are just saying what they think I want to hear. I tell myself to not get wrapped up in the long-term outcome for these clients. I can’t wonder if they will relapse in the future. They will. Relapse is a part of recovery.

The difference I struggle with comes from assessing how genuine the client’s attempt will be to stop using. I need to know the client’s investment in recovery to establish their stage of change so I can determine my approach with the client. Do they truly want to do the work? I simply do not know.

My feeling about it after my second week of internship is that this knowledge comes from experience. It’s the same gut feeling we get when we meet a new person and we assess if that person is someone we would like to know better. With addicts, seeing through the lip service becomes a gut feeling. While I can’t say this with certainty because I’m so green to this whole experience, I can say it in the same way I can say I know I know what I’m doing. I doubt myself at my internship, I have the internal dialogue where I say, “Should I have taken that approach?” but I always support myself. I stop the nagging thoughts and I allow myself to keep learning. It is this approach I will take as I continue to learn about things like lip service, which seems to be challenging to me. The more I listen, the better my gut feeling will become, and determining my client’s stage of change will be instinct instead of cautious appraisal.

Jennifer Bingaman is a counselor-in-training and freelance writer. She blogs about her experiences as a client and a counselor with a few life musings thrown into the mix at http://www.thepursuitofsassiness.com/.