It has been said the “we are who we are” and though we can to a great extent improve, expand and otherwise change things about us, we are in the end, who we are. Some of us love the bright lights and big cities, excessive travels to distant exotic locals while others like me, feel like world travelers when we visit Cape Cod (one state away from me). There is nothing wrong with either. Change can and is often a good thing but at times it is not necessarily better. I liked the advances we have made in medicine during my lifetime; actually I and many others would likely not be here now if not for the gains. I like that they can watch my heart beat live on the tv monitor and verify that while the scan in the ER picked up an abnormality the monitor shows that I am simply one of the 2-5% of the population that has a valve or chamber that is different than the norm but that my heart is working perfectly otherwise; years ago I have no idea what they would have had to do to determine this, but it would have entailed far more than some gel and a white hand held device. What I can do without however is the increasing inability to function without being plugged into some type of electronic device. Nowadays you needn’t touch a paper page in order to read a book, you can make and receive calls hands free through a gizmo attached to your ear and there is no such thing as “being away from your desk” because with the right phone, apps and attachments everything you have at your desk is now at your palm. I have several colleagues that always walk around with at least two smart phones; one is for talking, the other is for research, texting, emailing etc. while talking (I think some newer phones do all that at once). Their belts remind me of the type 1960’s tv superheroes wore, covered in gadgets. One even has a mini printer for his device so prescriptions, referrals etc are always possible no matter where he is. As for me, well I have a pay as you go flip phone that costs me ten cents every minute I am talking, it does not text, surf the net or make my breakfast; it is and will always be a phone. I can both make and receive calls and pay less than $200.00 per year for this convenience, one that I might add I would happily give up if I was not on call when I am not in the office. Today we have electronic schedulers, paperless offices, stream lined processes that enable you to talk to machines and virtually go through the day without so much as a minute of actual human contact. I actually have several clients who have virtual offices set up at home. At least one who has a very professional job, has never met her boss in person (the interview that was in person was done by Human Resources; the one with the boss was done via telephonic means). Sometimes it feels to me that the more we “connect” with the world, the larger our disconnect with what was formerly known as reality. I have a fancy electronic scheduler, paid a good price for it to when we opened the office. I think I even put an appointment in it once before going back to the paper and pencil approach. It feels more real to me. While I have voicemail for the office as it is a real necessity, we also have someone that actually answers the phone and connects the caller with the person they need. Sure we could have a phone tree, but that would cost a person their job and increase the disconnect many of us currently feel. Plus, the person in question happens to be my mom (we have a mostly family office) and who could fire their mum? We can now go online and order just about everything we need, be it groceries, hygiene products, gifts, delivery food or whatever you fancy. Hell, if you work from home using the phone or pc, you never even have to get out of bed, get dressed or anything and still be working. Still, I worry about the long term cost from a sociological prospective. Could this increased socialized (electronically) isolation lead to increases in interpersonal communication disorders, could it lead to increases in depression, isolation, a decrease in compassion and possibly an increase in war? I mean, if you never interact with others in person, could it increase the “us” verses “them” mentality that often leads to war? I spent a few hours with dear friends recently and in part the conversation was indeed surrounded by talk of their recently purchased blackberries. It also included talk of blueberries and other berries as well. We washed, measured, diced and otherwise prepared them for the small batches of jams. They taught me the dying art of jelly and jam making as we shared stories of growing up. I can’t imagine this ever happening in other more “modern” settings. I learned about her mother being a sought after judge at local and state fairs due to her knowledge and skill of jelly making. She was a hard taskmaster type of judge who often times dismissed a jam or jelly from the running without so much as a taste; if it did not have the right look, if it had bubbles from being turned too quickly or just didn’t look right that was enough to lose. She shared her techniques for ‘perfect” jars and I along with her partner and long time hubby assisted as we could. At times we even got to lick the ladle before washing everything so we could start the next batch. Not long ago we had a power outage that turned out to be terrific. While some of the pc’s had battery backup, with no power came no internet rendering them to be little more than expensive room lights. Cell reception was disrupted as well from the storm, although it may have been because we were relegated to the basement for a time as it appeared that large trees may be knocked down and there was some fear of a tornado. Whatever the case, five of us were huddled in a darkened basement without distractions. We soon found some in ourselves. Without TV, cell phones, PC’s and other distractions of today we started talking about our lives, memories and the like. Minutes passed, then an hour. The storm calmed and we moved back onto the first floor of the house which was still darkened. We continued to talk and with each word we got closer. We were planning on getting internet up at the studio at the WIP (Pillwillop Farm) as it may aid in some research for various art projects but after that experience we decided there was no need for a phone, internet and the like. Instead we have our old record player which we play low enough that we can share a story or two. We have our 1960’s or whatever era couch that though it is torn in places is still nice and comfy and on it many a memory is passed on to the next generation. I may never know the thrill of sending a text message while surfing the net and talking to someone simultaneously on a smart phone. I may never see Paris and I may never do many things that many people do on a daily basis but that is ok by me. The only blackberry I plan on purchasing this year will be for my first solo batch of jam.
Warren Corson III (Doc Warren) is a counselor and the clinical & executive director of a community counseling agency in central CT (www.docwarren.org).