Sometimes I think the difference between a wise man and a mule is that the mule knows that no matter what it does, it has likely been done before and stubbornly refuses to repeat history. The “wise man” on the other hand typically walks through life with eyes wide open but often with his mind closed to the possibility that “his discovery” was once common knowledge to those that preceded him.
As clinicians we have the same tendency to fall into the trap that we are the “only” one that can “do what I do the way I do it.” The reality of course is that we may be dynamic and some of us do indeed think we are remarkable, the honest truth is that most of us by definition are indeed dynamic and thus, as a group of dynamic individuals who are daring or crazy enough depending on your outlook, to walk into a therapeutic session without advanced technologies, without a net and try our best to help people find the answers that elude them with little more than our skill, knowledge, intellect and our instinct, we can be pretty much interchangeable. Sure our techniques, models and schools of thought may differ but there is so much overlap that once the client adjusted to the new clinician, things would often continue to move forward positively; accepting that may just save us a gray hair or two.
The other day I was at the recreation area of Pillwillop Farm when I “found” the perfect spot for a shady nook that my mother who cannot be in the sun too long would love. I set about cleaning my discovery, setting up my antique metal chairs, table and glider and feeling like I had just invented something remarkable. About the time that I put the finishing touches on my little nook by the brook the owner of the farm and his brother happened by. As they descended the hill I noticed smiles that were bigger than usual as they approached. A man of few words that speak volumes, he proceeded to tell me that “my discovery” was only a few feet away from the very spot that his grandparents used to have their shady place set up. I further learned that the sandy mucky spot just in front of it was once a small pond that his grandfather used to ride a small motorboat around in circles. Every spring they had to dig it out as it filled with sand from a road uphill. Though he loved the pond, with time it just became a no win situation and finally the sand won. Now it is a low land area with a brook running through; still nice but gone are the days of small boats tooling around in tiny circles.
Some clinicians appear taken aback or even insulted when another clinician uses the same techniques or makes a suggestion that is contrary to their favorite interventions but they are missing the point of consultation with others; to learn from one another, give and take in order to insure the best possible outcomes in the shortest amount of time possible. Back on the farm I was anything but disappointed to learn that my discovery was anything but. Instead I found myself flattered and impressed that generations apart two people looking for an ideal spot for a loved one had selected a spot within feet of each other. In fact, if the pond was still there, chances are good that we would have both picked the identical spot.
Therapy is not new in fact its roots arguably go back to the dawn of communication between Neanderthals. I can imagine two hairy and grunting Neanderthals without a formal language conveying non verbally with one another that they were “in the here and now” with one another, had “unconditional positive regard” for one another and genuinely wanted the other to know that they were there for them. This non verbal communication may have included a soft touch; volumes spoken without uttering a single word. Moving forward a few millennia or so and Carl Rogers and Ashley Montague proudly presented “their” discoveries that helped shape modern psychology. So maybe, as advanced as we are, we in point of fact, are perhaps a bit more verbal and based on my hair line, a lot less hairy than our ancestors but no more perceptive.
Rocking on my metal chair next to the pond where so many have done so before me, perhaps rediscovering the past IS one of the most advanced things we can do. MP3 players need not apply; “old fashioned” conversations are the gold standard.
Warren Corson III (Doc Warren) is a counselor and the clinical & executive director of a community counseling agency in central CT (www.docwarren.org).