Recently I was on my way to pick up a volunteer who lacked transportation. On my way to him I could not help notice several foreclosure notices and one auction notice, all within a mile of my office. My mind started wondering at the plight of these people and soon the song “Rain on the Scarecrow” by John Mellencamp filled my head. That song focused on the plight of the American Farmer who has endured all the setbacks that the land and nature in general could throw at them only to be felled by the pen of the local banker; foreclosure is the one thing that can end their legacy. I thought about the half dozen or so clients who have lost their homes or are still desperately struggling to save their homes and of all the clients who have lost their insurance coverage after losing their jobs. While I have tried to keep everyone in treatment that needed it even if they could not pay, I have not been able to keep them all and keep this office open. Counselors in the US are seeing two things happen. The first is an increase in the need for services while the second is a decrease in those who are able to pay for or have access to insurance. I wonder how other offices are balancing this need. This issue is far from unique to my office. As clinicians, how do you handle the negativity, the heart ache and the “heavy” issues day in and day out? I have discussed the need for balance in past blogs and for taking time for yourself; this conversation is more in terms of everyday stress. Do you ever find yourself saying to yourself that a client deserved to lose their home, job, spouse etc. and if so, did you feel guilty? As I drove by these signs, I thought of some of my clients. Some were hard working people who had gotten ill, laid off or had another large issue befall them. My heart goes out to them for losing their homes and possessions that they had worked so hard for no fault of their own. There are other clients and individuals that I have known however that I have no such feelings in regards to their losses. Some of these people are “suffering” from losses not due to “heartless bankers,” con artists or layoffs but due to a series of bad judgment calls and down right foolishness. Not long ago I had a client (please note that this is a composite “client” and not an actual one due to confidentiality issues) share that they were afraid that the bank was going to “take” their home from them. I asked them why and they advised me that they had been “unable” to pay their mortgage for a year or so. No, I do not know how long “or so” is but I assume it was closer to two years than one. They explained that try as they may; they just were unable to find employment but that they would “do anything, I just want a job.” We explored job leads in the area and they promptly rebuffed every possible job lead without so much as applying. It would appear that “anything” meant management with a large salary, great benefits and possibly an assistant and a corner office; it definitely did not mean entry level. Tax season came and with it came a ten thousand dollar or so refund (I guess some folks are lucky that way). We discussed while waiting for the check to be delivered how that money could save the home as it would get them almost current and back on track as their spouse earned enough to stay current but not enough to make up the past amount. I had referred them to a local not for profit that assisted folks in trying to save their homes through government programs. They appeared excited at the thought of staying in the family home. The following week brought an interesting development. My client showed me his new phone which had the latest and greatest in touch screen technology, had more bells and whistles than the Macy’s parade and even took voice commands. Not bad for someone who has been unemployed since the last presidential administration. He advised me of a big screen 3D TV purchase and that the income tax return had triggered the need for a very large shopping spree, but he advised that I should not be concerned for him as he had saved enough to pay the current month’s mortgage payment. I asked him if his new phone had free information access and if he had called for the number of the local homeless shelter in case he found himself in the need of one in the near future. I asked what good a flat screen tv would be if he was foreclosed on and advised that shelters were not known to offer a cot to large electronics… Our clients deserve the best service we can provide but not all of our clients emergencies are indeed that. My heart continues to go out to those who can relate to “rain on a scarecrow” but has little room for those who choose to ignore that life is not a passive adventure, we need to take charge of our destiny through good planning, hard work, discipline and whenever necessary sacrifice. Even then things can derail us, but we are less likely to get knocked out if we stop leading with our chins. A favorite line of mine when a client shows off their latest and greatest phone and remarks on the old flip phone that is shut off and typically resides on my desk, is that it does what I need it to; it both takes and receives calls and costs me less than $300.00 per year. When asked when I will upgrade to the latest and greatest I typically just respond “I’m a doctor, I could never afford something like that.” I find this often makes a great starting point for discussing responsibility, both personally and fiscally. Many have dismissed my humble suggestions but more than one has learned from it and has prevented foreclosure. In the mean time I continue to do my job, help who I can and understand that not all our clients want to change destructive patterns.
Warren Corson III (Doc Warren) is a counselor and the clinical & executive director of a community counseling agency in central CT (www.docwarren.org).