I am a private person even if I do find myself in the middle of many things. No, really, I do prefer being unknown and to myself, it’s just that there is something about my personality that seems to gravitate me out of the shadows and into the mix of things. I am not sure what it is but I do wish I knew how to shut it off sometimes. This likely describes a lot of us in the field. Many of us are inquisitive, intellectual and not exactly party animals although I do know plenty of exceptions to this. But seriously, how often do you think counseling conferences/ conventions are crashed by those seeking a wild and crazy time? Not many I would bet. Many of us work in private or small practices, the type that have some support staff and a few clinicians but that’s about it. In programs like that it is harder to “fade into the woodwork” as they say. Still, many of us prefer our privacy even if we have to “market “ourselves in order to get clients. This can be a daunting task (I will be doing a blog on marketing very soon BTW) but a necessary one. One of my favorite questions to fellow clinicians is how they maintain a private life and a professional one, especially if like me, they live and work in the same town; a town they were born and raised in. I have heard many creative responses ranging from unlisted numbers and having things registered to spouses or others not connected with them. Some simply like the notoriety that comes from practice and embrace it. I think it may be easier for them actually… As a new doc I found myself introducing myself to new clients as “Dr. Warren Corson III” with my standard reply to their query pertaining to how to address me being “whatever feels natural, I am not really all that concerned with it either way but I am not a big fan of being called doctor Corson.” Over time I noticed more and more unconnected clients referring to me as “Doc Warren” until finally one day I asked a few at random how they came to pick that name for me. The responses although the people were unconnected to one another were consistent; they felt that I deserved respect but “Doctor” seemed too stuffy for me but just calling me Warren seemed too informal, thus “Doc Warren” was born. In time I just adopted the name myself. An unintended consequence of my new name was that very few in town know my real name. In fact even insurance reviewers have gone through entire reviews before realizing that they were talking to “Doc Warren.” At least one said “I wish I knew it was you at the beginning because this review could have been much shorter. We know you; one of your (training) brochures was passed around the office a few weeks ago.” As the years have passed I have had fun with the fact that you cannot find a photo of me on the internet. I have been to gatherings of professionals and have heard multiple people talking about my work oblivious to the fact that I was standing there with them. I rarely volunteer that information by the way; it’s so much easier to bow out when no one knows you were there. I find it great that I can an “unknown known” as Donald Rumsfeld put it, but is this really as good a thing as I may think it is? The hardest part of starting this blog came not in the writing but in the need to submit a photo of myself for the blog. I found myself conflicted in that a picture of me may be able to be found on the net. I played with the idea of making funny faces or using a disguise. Maybe I could write under an assumed name? Who wouldn’t love to have their very own nom de plume? Ok, I am making some of this stuff up just to make a point; call it creative license but hopefully you get my point. So my question to you is what you do to draw clear boundaries between what you do and who you are? Where does your work end and your personal life begin and vice versa? Is it more complicated if like me, you live and work in the same building (though they are totally separated)? Do you find yourself changing your people, places and things if former or current clients start to frequent them? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Warren Corson III (Doc Warren) is a counselor and the clinical & executive director of a community counseling agency in central CT (www.docwarren.org).