Expectations are high in the military and there is little to no room for error. Just imagine the level of stress you might feel knowing you can’t make a mistake. Add to that the stress of having someone’s life in your hands…seeing blatant distortion of facts from a liberal media…constant public scrutiny…the recurring feeling of “being just a number”…being spoken down to by civilians and people in the military who outrank you…worry of someone “throwing you under the bus” to shift the blame away from them…having your medical records lost…not receiving your paycheck…not receiving your award because someone never filed the paperwork…living in quarters barely longer and wider than your twin-size bed…These are all typical things Troops experience before they even get on an airplane to go anywhere—I’ve experienced them all. Understanding this underlying stress of military life may help you to see why people seem so tense. This may also shed some light on why it’s sometimes difficult to make that instant connection with Troops. It may be due to an automatic perception that you are not genuinely interested and/or that each Troop is just a number to you, too. Do your best to prove them all wrong.

I volunteered for Afghanistan to work in a medical capacity to offer Troops genuine and knowledgeable support. It has been an uphill battle ever since. Along the way, people have been rude to me via phone and email for asking about my personal business. I’ve had unreturned phone calls and emails. My paperwork has been halted three times simply due to sitting on someone’s desk who was out of the office and two times because someone just messed up. I was even told at one point I had to report to Ft. Benning (Georgia) in 3 days when I had no airline ticket, no orders, no time to move my belongings from DC to Texas, and I had not been cleared from my current assignment. I’ve been told the position I applied for no longer exists and I “will be told my position upon arrival”. It seems like the people who will be receiving me do not care about me but that I am just a person to fill a job (not saying it’s a fact—just describing the feeling that arises).

I’m not sharing this to complain—I’m willing to do whatever is asked of me. I’m sharing this to illustrate how the unknown and the chaotic can add additional stress to an already stressful time of moving, changing jobs, leaving friends and family, and entering a combat zone.

For providers, I would suggest spending extra time and attention on conveying genuine interest in that first encounter with Troops. Please don’t make a 15-minute decision to hand them a referral to see a doctor for psychotropic drugs. Put down the pen and paper and look them sincerely in the eye. Put aside the clipboard or computer screen of mental health pre- or post-deployment checklists and just talk—get the answers that way instead. Make sure you get the point across that your client is not just a number to you. Make it a priority that he or she will get all the time and genuine attention needed. Especially in a high-volume work scenario I realize this can be a challenge, but it’s our job as providers. You never know, you may be the only mental health care person he or she ever sees…or the only one to actually put aside the clipboard and take the time to have a real conversation.

Natosha Monroe is an Army Reserve Mental Health Specialist working at the Pentagon. She is a counselor and PhD candidate passionate about increasing Troop access to counseling services. Her blog contents are not representative of the Army or Department of Defense in any way.