ACA Blog

Last week I had an off-line comment that made me realize that it is important to discuss stereotypes. Thank you Phil, for keeping me on track! There is much stigma associated with being an Appalachian person, and the tag line of last week’s blog inadvertently may have contributed to the continuation of the old stereotypes. For this, my readers, I apologize.

I do a lot of social consciousness lectures and presentations in my work as a consultant. One of the things I’ve continually stressed is the need to learn from and engage in each other’s civil rights efforts because these are essentially our own. This seems to puzzle many people, so I use examples of some of the more successful civil rights outcomes of the 1960s. Many groups, such as the Black Panther Party, understood that their sociopolitical agenda was in fact part of a larger global effort for all persons of color to actively overcome the racially oppressive and imperialist contexts in which they lived. Even while the settings and players were different, as the BLP and other organizations understood, the system of oppression and the pain of loss it caused were shared by all. The shared value was of dismantling that system.

We are born, every one of us with the proverbial “Clean Slate” or fresh start. We grow and we change in so many ways. We can argue Nature vs. Nuture as much as we like and we can all have our opinions on what qualities are which. However, I think we would be hard pressed to deny that every life is valuable and irreplaceable, at least to someone.

Having lived out for the last 25 years, first as a gay boy, and very shortly after as a transsexual woman, I tend to maintain a level of cautious optimism about the LGBT liberation struggle. There’s always something in the news about our community, and I am very grateful that it’s no longer a given that we’re referred to using terms like “homosexuals” (in the cases of gay men and lesbian women) or “transvestites” (in the cases of transsexual women). Yet, there always seems to be another shoe that drops when we make any progress: a state or nation supports gay marriage, some entity vows to fight it and does so; schools make an effort to reduce bullying of LGBT youth in schools, someone in a position of legislative authority opposes it and fights it. The shoe that dropped this week, however, was that of none other than the President of the United States, Barack Obama, who declared his support of same-sex marriage.

A majority of voters who went to the polls on May 8 in North Carolina voted for an amendment that would add a new section to the state constitution stating, in part, “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.” The vote pertaining to the constitutional amendment was essentially a referendum on gay marriage.

I am sitting In the lobby of the Cherry Valley lodge where our OCA meeting was held waiting for my ride home… I thought I should blog but wasn’t sure what to write about. I do know that I get energized from these types of meetings… just like at ACA… I think it is important to remain connected to others in the field and get involved in committees and such. I encourage anyone who hasn’t gone to an ACA event to definitely attend the one in Cincinnati next March. The time is well spent, attending workshops and networking. But more than that it maintains your professional identity as a counselor and you can walk away with new tools and techniques to use in your practice. If you have something to share you can present at the conference, it’s quite an experience. I presented at the New Orleans conference. It was good experience even though I feel I needed some improvement on my own presenting abilities, at least I conquered my fear of public speaking and can say I did it, put that one on my resume.

Over the past week, I’ve been following the story of Jenna Talackova, the transgender woman who is competing in the Miss Universe Canada pageant. This is an exception for me- as both a transwoman and a counselor who works with the population, I’ve learned that a good strategy of self-care is to avoid following individual transgender stories in the popular media and to encourage vigilance for transgender clients who choose to do so. Invariably, the public’s reactions to the lurid element of transgender lives that the media exploits largely range from voyeurism to disgust and dismissal. Think back to any positive images of transgender persons in the media that you’ve ever seen in which it was evident that the media was attempting to share a message of hope, healing, or just a feel-good story. I believe you get my point. This story, however, combining my love/hate relationship with beauty pageants with my concerns for transgender liberation, has attracted me like a honeybee to a glass of sweet tea at a backyard barbecue.

A few years ago my phone rang and there was a gentleman looking for services for himself and significant other. He discussed his reasons for needing therapy: an abusive relationship, addiction, financial issues; the “typical” relationship ills that often leads to therapy but I sensed there was something more. He said “um… I’m gay and my significant other is a man… is that a problem?” I replied honestly “Is it a problem for you?” he responded that it was not, he was gay, had been gay his entire life but that he had been denied treatment at three different offices for family counseling because of his “lifestyle.” I informed him that I would have no issue working with him so long as our schedules could find a time in common, and for the life of me could not understand why anyone would turn down a person who was seeking assistance based on their sexuality.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had the interesting experience of sharing with both clients and research participants articles that I’d written about them. Working in LGBT counseling agencies with beautifully unique client experiences, I’ve asked a few of my clients, as we were concluding the work, how they’d feel about having a description of our work shared with other professionals via a journal article. Within this, I include a lengthy description of confidentiality and how it would be maintained, the use of an alias, etc. They have all generously agreed to this. One of the things I appreciate the most about counseling in the LGBT community is the spirit of helping others that pervades.

In 2001, during my first semester at college, I was awoken early one morning by violent shouting, screaming, and banging coming from the dorm room facing mine. I remained in my room until things quieted down. Shortly after, I learned that the residents of the room were attacked and beaten by fellow students, some of whom were their neighbors, classmates, and friends. I remember my thoughts switching between, “How could they do this to fellow students?” to “How can these guys possibly be homosexuals. That is wrong.”