ACA Blog

Recently I had the honor and pleasure to speak to a group of courageous young women ages 14 -19 about my life and experiences as a teen mother. I was invited by Family First, an organization in downtown Atlanta that provides counseling and assistance to young pregnant and teen moms. I was ecstatic about the opportunity to speak with this group of women of course because even 20 years later I still identify myself as a teen mom.

This weekend my husband and I were watching our favorite morning show ‘Up with Chris Hayes’. I like this show because it makes me think. Each weekend intelligent, interesting, and well-informed people discuss the issues. I can almost feel my brain gaining density as I listen to the conversation. In the last segment of the show four fiction authors were the focus. Ayana Mathis, author of ‘The 12 Tribes of Hattie’, used the term ‘severely impoverished’ in making her point.

“I’m an awful parent” is a common lament of many of the parents I work with professionally. These parents will enter my office with anger and regret tattooed from face to toes. A child or teen is commonly tugged in their wake, head downcast. Meeting individually with these parents to check-in regarding the cause of their disparaging facade, they commonly spill forth tales of their child’s becoming quite the little terror recently, to which they with all the heaviness of an over-stressed individual, responded in anger, only to deeply regret it later.

Storm clouds form at the onset of a rain storm. Generally that is a sign to prepare accordingly… Should you choose to ignore the signs then the consequences can be greater than the steps toward prevention.

This series of blogs is excerpted from a chapter of a book that I contributed to. It is being shared here in the hopes that it may help to provide some foundation for ideas in your area. Please excuse the formality of the writing.

This series of blogs is excerpted from a chapter of a book that I contributed to. It is being shared here in the hopes that it may help to provide some foundation for ideas in your area. Please excuse the formality of the writing and please note that this series in no way reflects an opinion on how the professionals at Sandy Hook Elementary School handled the situation or preparation. It is my opinion that they likely did everything foreseeable to prevent this tragedy; sadly not everything can be planned against and thus avoided. My hat is off to those lost souls, the first responders and every member of the school’s team. They all did what they could to avoid this tragedy. Many died protecting this nation’s most cherished resource; our children…

I write this as the news is discussing the tragic multiple murder that was perpetrated at Sandy Hook School in Connecticut. News is still scattered, reports as high as 29 dead have been reported, many of them kindergarten students. It is reported that a whole kindergarten class may be unaccounted for hours after the shooting began. The alleged shooter is reportedly dead, reportedly a 24 year old whose mother worked as a kindergarten teacher at the school who entered the building at 9:30 am carrying many weapons. Some of these reports may prove inaccurate but what is known is that many are dead. It is reported that he had earlier killed his father in New Jersey before killing his mother in CT on his way to the school.

The other day I had a conversation that stayed with me deeply. It started when my sister told me about a neighborhood boy who lived across the street from us whose house had been torn down. Despite the proximity and the shared bus stop I am not sure I could say I actually knew him. In retrospect I don’t think there is really anyone who can lay claim to ever truly knowing him. Sadly none of us will ever get the chance because he took his own life.

When a student walks into your life to so share with you a secret, there is no telling what will come embedded in the story. The student starts to whisper the little tales gone by and suddenly a heavy load is place upon your shoulder. The story does unfold in pieces and in patches and then the client slows a while to wonder if to break the secret open. There is often such a struggle on weighing the pros and cons but when you live the patience and when you apply the art and craft of psychotherapy the client finds release. On helping a certain client to break her silence I ended up penning the process in the following poem:

This week I found myself mulling over the connection between counseling, culture and guns. Recently, a situation arose in our local elementary school where fifth grade student threatened to shoot another fifth grader with his gun. The child who issued the threat, aged 10, owned a gun. The gun was a present for his ninth birthday and was happily shown off to friends at his birthday party, much as a tech-savvy adult might show off their newest gadget.