ACA Blog

This week I had a couple clients come in who knew what they wanted and needed in terms of their career, but felt a bit stuck in going after it. Nothing earth shattering--this happens to all of us. And to be honest, I hear it every week about one aspect of life or another. But, this self-limiting belief that we can’t have what we want doesn't need to be the case. Not only do most people know what they really want and need, they also know how to get there--if they take the time to stop and ask themselves.

So I’ve been thinking about this idea of the Angry Black woman. Specifically, I’ve been relating this concept to the workplace. I recently attended a diversity training where the presenter was arming us with tools on how to work with a client that has persistent anger related to her job, boss or co-workers. We were empowered with breathing exercises, visualization exercises and friendly confrontational techniques to help our female client deal with the irrational ideas that she was holding that was creating anger. What I never heard was how to work with a client who has the right to be angry.

Recently I had the honor and pleasure to speak to a group of courageous young women ages 14 -19 about my life and experiences as a teen mother. I was invited by Family First, an organization in downtown Atlanta that provides counseling and assistance to young pregnant and teen moms. I was ecstatic about the opportunity to speak with this group of women of course because even 20 years later I still identify myself as a teen mom.

Well the time has come. I’m in my first relationship since my divorce. I am completely smitten. This man has my full attention. The problem is this is my first relationship since my divorce. I’m scared to death. I’m still catching up with old friends who I haven’t spoken to and informing them that “things didn’t work out,” and “we’re still very good friends,” and “the girls are fine.” I’ve finally gotten everything changed back to my maiden name and now I’m giggling about this new guy.

For many different reasons, Professional Counselors may want to consider an option other than counseling for work. Perhaps, other than opening up one’s own private practice, there are no openings for counselors in their area. Another reason is near and dear to my heart—people who have obtained their graduate degrees and entered the counseling profession specifically to offer services to Troops and their Families find themselves “blocked” from those jobs. Some counselors may simply want to supplement their income, explore a new area of work, or change up routine to avoid burnout. So what are some of our options?

So lately I’ve been wrestling with my thoughts on authenticity. It is a concept that is all over the self-help and Positive Psychology arenas (areas that I find myself most comfortable). To me practicing activities that have led to my own personal connection with my authentic self has been a liberating and empowering experience, one that I’ve wanted to incorporate in my work with my clients. This idea of taking off layers and layers of externally imposed masks and becoming aware of our truest thoughts, impulses and desires is something not too far from spiritual to me. Who wouldn’t want to connect with themselves on that level?

I have a new program to announce. I’m really excited about it. For more than a year now I’ve been working on developing a career transition program for a group of professionals that are highly ignored in the career counseling arena. After months and months of reading, research, planning and preparing I’m now ready to premier Sex Industry CEO’s; a career transition program for strippers, exotic dancers and other women who work in legal, sex-related entertainment jobs.

Since 2009 I have incorporated vision boards into my therapeutic work with adults. I have found the process of creating and analyzing a vision board to be extremely beneficial in helping a client overcome obstacles to success. I know some people view vision boards as some sort of mystical, magical process, but the reason why they work is not exactly magic.

Blowing out the candles on her 40th birthday cake, the glow and flicker sending her back to a time when she was blowing out the candles on her going away cake. She had just finished High School as an honors student and was headed off to college; she was ready to conquer the world. In college she excelled in academics, she seemed to have a knack for all things art and a gifted mind that could do just about anything, but math, she hated math…

Instead of resolutions I encourage clients to establish goals. While resolutions are blanket statements delivered to the universe with no plan of action, no reference and no structure of measurement, SMART goals are Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic and Time bound. Let's examine each component.