By Lynn Linde

Last month, I shared my thoughts about how important it is for us as counselors to understand our values and what makes us unique as individuals. This month, I would like to expand on those thoughts and reemphasize that the extent to which we know ourselves as a person will impact our work in any profession, but particularly as counselors. Further, in a counseling relationship, we inevitably reveal who we are through the way we interact with our clients.

One of the really wonderful aspects of being ACA president is getting to travel around the country and meet a number of our members and other counselors. The downside of traveling is, as a former ACA president put it, “The airlines don’t care that you are the ACA president.” Neither do shuttle bus and cab drivers, staff for car rental companies and all the other people on whom I am completely dependent as I travel. It does give me an interesting look at how different people approach their jobs, however. I have met some wonderful folks who clearly enjoy what they do and like working with the public; they act as if there is nothing they wouldn’t do to assist. And I have met some folks who need to find something else to do.

Traveling gives me time to read. While I always think I should be reading something professional and/or esoteric (or thinking about my next column), I confess that when I’m sitting in an airport or on a plane, I prefer something entertaining and tend to turn to my favorite authors. One of those authors is Jonathan Kellerman, whose novels feature a mystery-solving psychologist as the main character. I was recently reminded of something this character said about the art and science of counseling. I didn’t want to misquote Kellerman, so I e-mailed him to ask for clarification. To my delighted surprise, he quickly responded with the answer. To paraphrase him, the science of counseling is knowing what to say; the art of counseling is knowing when not to talk and what not to say.

One of the hardest things to teach students is how to go beyond their “skills” to help them figure out what to do or say. They want to believe there is only one correct response or action for any given situation, and if they can just figure out what that is, then they will be a good counselor. But being a “good” counselor goes far beyond the skill or science of counseling and saying the therapeutically appropriate thing. It truly involves the art of counseling, or how we choose to be with others in a counseling relationship so we can facilitate client growth. What do we choose to share of ourselves? Meaning not just the words and stories, but the reality of who we are.

For many of our clients, counseling is a relationship incredibly different from any other they have ever experienced. The counselor enters into the client’s world and endeavors to see the world as the client sees it. For many clients, the relationship is almost magical, and is certainly empowering, because the counselor listens to the client and accepts the client for who she or he is. But the question for the counselor is always how much of one’s self to share with the client. I would suggest that when we find the ground where we are the same, as opposed to focusing on our differences, then we can move forward together. Sharing the core allows us, as counselors, to practice the art of counseling. By being with the client, we are able to better understand what to say, what not to say and when to say nothing at all.

In my travels, I am continually impressed by the counselors I meet. I see their commitment to the profession and to their clients, their passion for what they do and their concern for the welfare of others. I see the diversity of both the clients with whom they work and the settings in which they practice. These are colleagues who practice the art of counseling. And I come away convinced that we are part of a noble profession. As counselors, we get to make a positive difference in the lives of others; it doesn’t get any better than this.